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Grekther

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Join date : 2009-09-27
Age : 24
Location : Isle of Skye; Scotland

PostSubject: Post Jokes Now!!   Tue Sep 29, 2009 1:05 am

Not heard a good joke in literally hours.
Also fact's could be alright (must be Chuck Norris related Cool )
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Grakkthar

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PostSubject: Re: Post Jokes Now!!   Tue Sep 29, 2009 9:07 pm

An English king is marching his army of 10,000 men near the scottish border when he sees a lone scotsman standing on a hill the scotsman starts shouting insults at the king, as a result the king sends 10 men to kill him. He disappears down the back of the hill and 30 seconds after the soldiers disappear out of sight the Scotsman re-appears laughing at the king. The king, infuriated, sends 100 soldiers to kill him, again he disappears down the hill. After about 4 minutes from the english soldiers disappearing over the hill the Scotsman re-appears and again laughs straight at the king, the king now seething with anger sends his whole army after the scotsman. 30 minutes from when the king last saw his army a soldier, covered in blood, guts and IRN-BRU, limped over the hill and fell at the kings feet
"sir" he said
"sir.....it's.....it's...it's an ambush sir.......there's.....there's 2 of them"

Basketball
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Grittlebone
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Age : 31
Location : The not-so-cold southern north.

PostSubject: Re: Post Jokes Now!!   Tue Oct 06, 2009 4:50 pm

Ok I got one.

What's black and white and utterly deadly?













A nun with a flamethrower. Very Happy

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Chinedow

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Age : 25
Location : England

PostSubject: Re: Post Jokes Now!!   Tue Oct 06, 2009 7:51 pm

How do you fit 5 donkeys in a fire truck?





Two in front
two in back
One on top yelling EeeyoreEeryoreEeyore




And this was sent to me in an email..
Chuck Norris loves playing Horseshoes. But nobobdy has ever built up the courage to tell Chuck that throwing midgets at gigantic pieces of rusty metal is not the way everyone else plays.
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Grekther

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Location : Isle of Skye; Scotland

PostSubject: Re: Post Jokes Now!!   Fri Oct 09, 2009 2:12 pm

Two guy's are sitting at a bar, one start's to insult the other. He screams "I slept with your mother!" The bar goes quiet as everyone watches to see what the other guy will do. The fist yell's again "I slept with your mother!". The other one replies "Go home dad, your drunk".
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Chinedow

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PostSubject: Re: Post Jokes Now!!   Mon Oct 12, 2009 7:11 pm

A little boy killed a butterfly and his dad said,
"No butter for two weeks"
Next he killed a honey bee and the dad said,
"No honey for two weeks either"

Later the boys mum was in the garden planting and stood on a cokroach. The little boy turns to his dad and asks,
"Do you want to tell her or should I?"
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Grekther

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PostSubject: Re: Post Jokes Now!!   Sat Oct 31, 2009 3:00 am

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Grakkthar

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PostSubject: Re: Post Jokes Now!!   Sat Oct 31, 2009 3:35 am

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Grekther

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PostSubject: Re: Post Jokes Now!!   Fri Nov 06, 2009 1:26 am



Never thought my love for Muffin's Ross Noble and posting vid's on the forum would ever come together, but there we go.
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Grittlebone
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PostSubject: Re: Post Jokes Now!!   Fri Nov 06, 2009 10:28 am

Ah, I love his accent.. Great stuff =)

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Elisheba

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PostSubject: Re: Post Jokes Now!!   Fri Nov 06, 2009 4:19 pm

Adam and eve were in the Garden of Eden, and Eve had not been there long and Adam was trying to get a grasp on the female thing, so he asked God if they could have a talk. God replied, sure your my son and I love you can ask me anything.

So Adam asked, God you have given me the beautiful flowers and the sunset....But I look at Eve and she is so beautiful it takes my breath away... Why God, did you make eve so beautiful? God replied, my son that is easy, I made her that way so you would love her, Adam replied well, it worked but I have another question... I touch the cool water and rub the furry animals and they feel so good to me but I touch Eve and it is so wonderful my heart almost stops... God, why did you make her that way?

God replied well Adam that is easy I made her that way so you’d love her...well Adam replied, it worked, I do, but God I have one more question and I don't mean to question your wisdom or anything, but God she is stupid, why did you make her stupid? God replied my son that is easy I made her that way so she would love you.
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Elisheba

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PostSubject: Re: Post Jokes Now!!   Fri Nov 06, 2009 4:24 pm

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, 'Father, I have a problem.

I have two female parrots,

But they only know how to say one thing.'

'What do they say?' the priest inquired.

They say,

'Hi, we're hookers!

Do you want to have some fun?'

That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed,

Then he thought for a moment.



'You know,' he said,

'I may have a solution to your problem.

I have two male talking parrots,

Which I have taught to pray and read the Bible.

Bring your two parrots over to my house,

And we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.

My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship,

And your parrots are sure to stop saying . . .

That phrase . . In no time.'

Thank you,' the woman responded,

'this may very well be the solution.'





The next day,

She brought her female parrots to the priest's house.

As he ushered her in,

She saw that his two male parrots

Were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying.

Impressed,

She walked over and placed her parrots in with them.



After a few minutes,

The female parrots cried out in unison:

Hi, we're hookers!

Do you want to have some fun?'

There was stunned silence.





Shocked,

One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot

And exclaimed,



'Put the beads away, Frank.

Our prayers have been answered!'
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Grekther

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PostSubject: Re: Post Jokes Now!!   Wed Dec 02, 2009 9:01 pm

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Grekther

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PostSubject: Re: Post Jokes Now!!   Wed Dec 02, 2009 9:03 pm

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Grekther

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PostSubject: Re: Post Jokes Now!!   Fri Dec 18, 2009 1:39 am

Jesus may beable to walk on water but Chuck Norris can swim on land.
True story.
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Chinedow

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PostSubject: Re: Post Jokes Now!!   Fri Dec 18, 2009 2:13 am

Dont drink water.

Fish shag in it. :O
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Grekther

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PostSubject: Re: Post Jokes Now!!   Fri Dec 18, 2009 11:43 pm

I dont even drink water what's your problem!? JEEZ!!!
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